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Thursday, October 10, 2013

The good and the sad

Hi Everyone!
It's been awhile since I've blogged so I thought I would do a post.
Or two.
We will see.
So today, for some reason,  I am particularly conflicted with good and some sad things.
Being that this is my personal blog, sometimes I feel like it's a good diary place.
Let's get the sad things out of the way. 
Things that make me sad in my life right now:
  • My Uncle Dan just recently passed from Leukemia. :( I wish I was able to say goodbye and can only be thankful he is now at peace and no longer in pain from it. I wish I could have gone home to be with my mom and family to be there with great support.
  • Not too long ago (close to a year?) my aunt Carolyn also passed from cancer. She had beat it multiple times but it got so hard and she got so tired. Miss her so much. 
  • My uncle on my Dad's side of the family has discovered he has prostate cancer. Very sad. I hope treatment/surgery helps and that he continue enjoying life.

 But all this just makes me feel disheartened because that means cancer runs on both sides of the family.
It's sad to see that it's taking family members down, but also that it's apparent and could be passed along, if it's through genes. 
  • The other sad thing is most of my family smokes. And if they don't smoke they are exposed to smoke.

Guys, smoking is terrible. I'm so glad I don't. I'm sure you know all this.
I can imagine and understand it's hard to quit, I just wish most of my family quit a long time ago.
I worry they are so addicted and hooked now that if they should grab the courage to quit they would be in worse shape. 
I worry they too will get cancer, and even more, that somehow it will find it's way to me.
I can only pray that it will never effect either of us.
It all breaks my heart. And nothing can be done.
I, for one, am a soul believer on the happiness path.
 I'm not sure that smoking necessarily makes them happy but if it should for some reason, then they are living their life how they want to.
No it's not encouraged. That's for sure. I just want everyone to be happiest they can be throughout their lifetime.
Because let's face it, you only get ONE LIFE.
That's it. After that, there's no knowing what will happen. You can think, imagine, and hope. But you don't know.
To be able to stop and think about all the things you are doing , feeling, thinking right at this moment, is insane to think about. 
So why not live your life the way it makes you happiest? 
Sure you will go through life's struggles. It's certainly not easy. 
But it's how to interpret and handle those struggles that determines your happiness.
Which is why I look at things with a more positive vibe.
Negativity and stress can only bring you down. They put you in a funk and it's hard to overcome it.
But only if you let it.
Now that my pep talk is over...
  • Additionally, I am currently bummed about my status financially. Living paycheck to paycheck. I miss shopping. I miss vacations. And I know this will change in time. I know that we have to make these changes and we are trying to now. 
We've been trying.
One of my biggest flaws is my impatience so all this will need working on. 
I just miss it and want to get rid of all my debt (student loans, wedding loan). 
And I know we will in time, but again that impatient self of mine comes in and wants it now. 
And gets bummed when it doesn't happen and can't happen now.

  • I LOVE my business, and when i'm working I am so so happy. But the sad thing is my lack of clientele. It is so so so hard to get new clients. I wish I could tell you why. Either people think they have things all figured out, though that's not always true, or they have someone like me already, or they can't afford me, even though I am willing to tailor my prices to their budgets. I just don't get it but I keep trying. That's all you can do. This job has made me happier than you can possibly imagine. I really really love it. But there's struggles with it.
Things that are good in my life right now:
  • I am healthy, no cold no illness, no disease. 
  • I've been sleeping great at night lately. It's a wonderful feeling.
  • I am loving the fall vibe and been able to really enjoy the season this year.
  • I have a great support system. My husband, family and friends. I love them all. Sooo much.
  • I sold my first online Etsy Order. Or will be, this evening! yay!
  • I've been pretty productive lately in all that I do. Dinners, projects, work. 
  • I have been easily inspired and that makes me motivated to do better, work harder, and keeps me happy.
  • Thinking about my future and how great it will be. The house, having a dog, my work progress, future kids. I can see the perfection I will have, just excited to get there.
And that's what I recommend to do. When you have life's struggles or sad things weighing you down,
always always stop to think about the good things you have. 
The things you worked so hard to get how they are now.
The things that make you happiest and continue to strive for those things.
We can't control actions of people, or their mistakes.
But you can control your own and to me, sitting around worried, sad, and not trusting anything makes for a not so happy life.
So be happy. And do what you have to do to get there.

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